


and it's hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound

by dyscnia



Series: champagne problems [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/F, HOW DO YOU TAG THINGS, Heartbreak, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Taylor Swift inspired, but maybe she doesn't handle her emotions well, i almost started crying here, inspired by this is me trying by taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyscnia/pseuds/dyscnia
Summary: in which the relationship feels one sided and you drown your sorrows in alcohol. inspired by the line "pouring out my heart to a stranger" except it's not a stranger and you're trying not to lose it
Relationships: Black Widow/Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Reader, Natasha Romanov/Reader, natasha Romanoff/reader
Series: champagne problems [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180622
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	and it's hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound

**Author's Note:**

> this is part one of my series "champagne problems" & it basically is just an opening for a hopefully much more painful part 2 so enjoy ^.^

You smile at the bartender when he slides a drink into your hands for the fifth time that night. This is the first time he's ever handed you a drink before you even asked, but you were still grateful for it. The music behind you thumped loudly as you nursed the glass, trying to force your eyes away from a certain redhead. Apparently, your attempts fail because the woman in question looks up to meet your eyes and smiles at you. You force yourself to look away, pretending to be admiring the painting above her. You couldn't handle this now, at least not now.

"Trouble in paradise?" Sam pops up beside you, Bucky following in tow. "You two are normally wrapped up together at times like this, what's up?"

"Nothing's wrong," You force out a laugh before downing your drink. Your laugh is barely believable as it usually is, which is apparent when both Sam and Bucky look at you with concern. You let out a small sigh as you pick up the next glass the bartender gives you. "It's just, Natasha's been acting weird recently. She barely acknowledges me. Sometimes it's as if I don't even exist - like we aren't together. Like the past 3 years haven't existed."

Bucky sighs sympathetically, plucking the drink from your hands. "Have you talked to her about this? You know how Natasha is with relationships, maybe something's just bothering her." 

"I've tried, trust me. She hasn't talked to me in the past, oh you know, 3 days since she got back from her mission. She didn't even come to me when she arrived, this is the first time I'm seeing her. Now she's wrapped up in the arms of *her.* I just don't know anymore." You look back at the red head briefly, before snatching your drink back and drinking it all at once. She's laughing at something someone said, and when you look at who she's talking to, it's another woman. The same woman she's been talking to since she got to the party. Sam and Bucky are looking at you with pity in their eyes as you walk away from them, unable to bear the topic of the short conversation any longer. 

To say the least, you had no idea what was wrong with Natasha. Everything had been fine when she'd first left 3 weeks ago - you'd given her a kiss goodbye and a promise to wait for her to get back. But when she had arrived back, she hadn't come gone to the shared room the two of you shared. You didn't know where she'd gone, but it certainly wasn't anywhere in the compound. It wasn't anywhere you knew. For some reason, it was as if she'd suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth.

When she'd shown up at the party, you were surprised, but happy. You expected her to come to you, to kiss you and apologize for her absence, maybe even an explanation, but instead you were faced with a grueling hour of watching her laugh at the jokes of another woman while you sat at the bar alone. You were tired, and you couldn't bear another second of it. So you left. Of course, you did feel bad leaving Sam and Bucky behind, but you couldn't stand being there for another second.

\---

"Hey," Wanda walked up to you, holding two glasses. She offered you one before she leant against the balcony frame. "Sam told me what happened. I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't think that's what you need to hear right now."  
You sighed, looking down at your drink. Letting out a crazed laugh, you took a sip. "Honestly, I don't even know what I need to hear right now. I don't even know what's happening anymore - as far as I'm concerned, I might as well be single with the way she's been acting."

"Oh, honey," Wanda reached out an arm to pull you closer, rubbing your back in comfort. "Do you want me to talk to her? I'm sure there has to be an explanation to this. Natasha wouldn't just throw away the last 3 years."  
You shook your head, looking up at the star-filled sky. "No, I don't want her to start avoiding you too. I just wish she'd at least have the guts to break up with me instead of pretending I don't exist. That'd make everything hurt less. But apparently the great Black Widow can't even handle breaking up with her girlfriend; she has to do it by making it clear she doesn't want me anymore."

Wanda could only look at you in pity, speechless. She hadn't expected you to say that - in fact, she didn't expect you to just give up on Natasha. The two of you had been so wrapped up in each other, even before she'd met the both of you. Even before you'd gotten with Natasha, you would've risked your life to save the spy. So to see you give up on her, after everything the both of you had gone through, was shocking. 

You continue on, unaware of Wanda's reaction. "It's funny, you know. I thought our ending would be one of us dying in the field or going missing. Maybe even dying of old age if that's even possible. But I never thought it would be because of her being too cowardly to talk to me. I never thought it'd end like this. But I guess being with a spy means you have to be ready for whatever surprises they throw your way."

Wanda pulled you closer, rubbing circles on your back in comfort. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I don't know what to tell you, but you deserve so much better."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all sad and mopey," You heaved out a sigh, before moving away from Wanda, shaking your head. "I think I'll just go to bed and await the massive headache that'll come tomorrow."

You walked away from her, wishing you weren't on the edge of giving up on the woman you loved. Wishing you could do something before she slipped out of your grasp completely. But you couldn't.


End file.
